AH yes, a weekend at the coast. It was the right decision and I don’t regret it. We arrived early Friday evening and set the stage for a weekend filled with distraction and, siiiiggghhh, relaxation. We sat out on the deck and watched the sun set over the water and haystack rocks in the distance and spent some much-needed time connecting. Lovely.
Inset: We awaken Saturday morning to administer my first Menopur shot. We mix all the vials like pros, draw back the shot and slightly depress the plunger to make a small drop come out at the tip…. aaandddd out squirts a small fraction of the dose. Lost medication=PANIC. I panicked. Too early to call the clinic, we inject it anyway and wait. As we wait for the clinic to open, I head to the kitchen and open the refrigerator door for a glass of juice. I realize with horror that the temperature in the fridge has malfunctioned and the juice, along with all other liquids, have a thin veil of ice beginning to form. I grab out the thousand or so dollars worth of f.ollistim and l.upron, both stamped clearly on the front with DO NOT FREEZE. Pharmacy is not. yet. open. Now, panic turns to near-hysteria as my capacity for tempering panic with reason these days is poor. By the time we are able to talk with both the clinic and the pharmacy (a mere 15 minutes later), I am inconsolable. I, luckily, pull it together enough to talk with both the clinic and the pharmacy so that I can hear their reassurances with my own ears: 1) The amount the squirted out of the Menopur was not enough to require using a whole new vial and small enough to not make too much of a difference. 2) While the other liquids in the fridge had started freezing, the medications had not. The pharmacist assured me, more than once, that unless the medication had actually frozen, it was fine to use. This was enough to keep the panic at bay for the rest of the day but not enough to keep me from secretly obsessively worrying that both of these professionals were, clearly, not being hypervigilant enough and that my IVF cyle is now doomed. What if the medication had started to freeze and I just didn’t see it? Whatifwhatifwhatif. I swear, I am not a lunatic. It’s just that the amout of details involved in this process and the weight it all holds is enough to make anyone nuts. I also, clearly, have hormonal issues.
Deep breaths…. Breathe in peace and calm…breathe out stress and anxiety…breathe in peace and… Oh, forget it.
What saved the weekend, and my sanity, was the arrival of glorious weather and good friends. The early hours of Saturday morning unfolded into bright sunshine and deep blue skies which, in turn, opened the door for walks on the beach, dinner with our friends and giggles with their year-old daughter. Today’s meds, so far, have gone without a hitch. Relaxation makes a comeback!
And now, pictures of the beach to keep me calm: