I started lightly spotting on Friday night and, for the briefest second, I got my hopes up that it might be implantation spotting because it was only 9dpo. Sadly, Sat morning’s gush came with a vengeance and started the party all over again. My luteal phase is ALWAYS 12days, it’s the only thing that has been consistent so either I ovulated when I thought I was ovulating (and not when I actually got the IUI) or my cycle is totally wonky because of the Clomid. I feel pretty sure that both are strong possibilities and so did the doctor.
Either way, the clinic feels that 50mg was too small of a Clomid dose for me since I didn’t seem to really respond to it and their solution is to double the dose. Ugh. I am not looking forward to the coming days. While I did fine on the actual days of taking Clomid, the hormonal changes later in my cycle have been a different story and I feel like crap.
It’s been such a struggle. I know we all have our ways of coping-some ‘good,’ some ‘bad.’ I’ve always relied heavily on close friendships and creativity to get me through hard times. And food, but that’s another story. In the last few years, I discovered that exercise worked for me too and, for the first time, I was actually able to manage anxiety, moods and general life stressors. When my sister died in 2008, I ran a lot of miles to stay sane and exercise has been the thing that has gotten me through a slew of less than great luck since that time. But, since last fall, my normal routine and my ability to be physical has been severely impaired. Between the pain I was having, my surgery, work, and then ensuing general crappiness, I haven’t been able to access that coping strategy. In addition to gaining a ton of weight, I feel bloated most of the time. I am anxious and antsy but exhausted. All this before I even get pregnant 🙂
whine whine whine. It’s a grumpy day.
The silver lining is the unexpectedly big tax return that M and I just learned that we will get this year. It will be a much needed boost though I am considering just having the IRS make the check out directly to Oregon Reproductive Medicine. It’s probably easier to just cut out the middle man.